Jeesh, you know things are getting bad when your kid brother (paragraph 5) starts complaining that you never update your website. Well, XQQQ-ME! While Mr. Wesleyan has been galavanting all over New England -- including a trip to New Haven to visit... um... well... The point is that I've been hard at work trying to figure out whether or not there's a market for String Theory paraphernalia (chalk/chalkboard starter kits, unified theory press releases, t-shirts emblazoned with non-perturbative equations), and I haven't had a chance to take any photographs, or update my research page, or do my laundry for that matter. (Not that laundry is an appropriate area to discuss on a family webpage.)
But November is upon us, and 'tis time to put aside quantum problem sets, and think about the more important things in life: wedding presents! Or more importantly, waiting for the wedding to end so we can move on to the wedding food, wedding cake, wedding wine... (And what color is Oyster anyway?) I for one am looking forward to the fine tuxedo the groom has hand-picked for me so he looks good. (Did I get the pronouns correct?) But we'll have to see which penguin fares better on the lanes!
This paragraph is very short.